a long weekend
yay! a long weekend ahead! but why the heck are we back to school on november 2nd. talk about spoilsports! i wonder if people will actually show up in school on tuesday. as much as i want to stay at home and bum around on the said day, i really have to show up for one class i can't miss. not because i enjoy the subject, but because he gives a freaking quiz every meeting. gawd! such hard work is not good for me! =p
much of my weekend will go to studying physics. so much for apathy! i really need to work my ass of if i want a decent final grade. i have been barely passing my exams. i wish i didn't care about grades, but i do. well, i won't care so much if my parents don't expect so much of me. and of course, Christmas is coming. Presents will be extra nicer if grades are high!! =D just the motivation i needed.
i really wish i could post more interesting and intelligent entries. but of course, i'm neither of the two, so what do you expect right? =p
happy halloween!
my friends dragged me to watch this movie. i actually had no intention whatsoever to watch it, but i ended up falling in love with it in the end. it was so beautiful. i'm actually at lost for words to tell you how beautiful it is.
i need to watch before sunrise asap! they say it's as beautiful as its sequel. and if you haven't watched before sunset... you are missing out. it is so fcuking beautiful. don't expect great cinematography (of course Paris is beautiful on its own), but expect great dialogue. In fact, expect the film to be all intelligent talk. Oh gawd, i can't stop raving about it.
It is so fcuking beautiful!!!!
pathetic apathetic
maybe it's the frustration from all the lousy teaching i get from a supposedly world class school.
as i have ranted before, i am done with self studying.
there are some good teachers this term but all for GE subjects. Heck, i need able professors for my programming subjects!
i can't deal with it anymore, and my only recourse is to be apathetic.
to hell with grades. they're but a lousy measure of how well you bullshit you're way through stupid exams.
i have an exam in 3 hours, i haven't even studied yet. apathy.
Sex and the City Marathon
Oh my God! 10 straight episodes of Sex and the City(SATC) Season 6! 5 hours of the Manhattan Girls! I actually cried half of the time, mostly because I could only wish for a friendship like theirs.
I still can't believe I spent the last 5 hours watching SATC (when I should be studying for an exam on thursday)! Oh what the hell, it was worth it!
Anyone with a friendship/s close to that of the SATC girls should consider themselves blessed.
It's hard to find real friends.
inferiority complex
i hang out with a lot of really intelligent and witty people. This brings me to the realization that i am such a loser.
Yes, I ace my exams, but when I compare my personality and my capabilities with these guys, I end up feeling sorry for myself.
I am not stupid. I am not dumb. But when I'm in school and I'm surrounded with friends who are oozing with confidence and so sure of themselves, I feel like wimp.
I don't want to feel sorry for myself. But I am. I'm sorry that I'm not as smart and as witty as these people.
I'm sorry I don't have any real friends in school.
I'm sorry that I'm so overrated that people expect me to do good in everything. But the truth is I suck. I so totally suck.
I hate school and I hate the way it makes me feel like I'm not going to succeed in life. I hate that I have to compare myself with all these people who could code java in their sleep or finish a physics quiz an hour ahead of me.
I don't want to pretend to be cool coz I'm not. I'm a dull, boring person who can spend the whole day staring at the ceiling.
I want to matter. I want to be special. I hate feeling ordinary.
Sometimes I wish I were a genius.
I have a report tommorow. It's the anxiety I feel when I have to face the class. I'm scared. I'm just scared.
a nice surprise
It's nice having someone to talk to. I had a surprising call tonight. It was a nice surprise. He needed someone to talk to, I was there to listen. To laugh at his stupid jokes, and tell him that everything's gonna be okay when he started to worry about life.
He's a great guy and someday he'll find someone he deserves and who deserves him. I hope she treats him well. =)
I suddenly miss being in love. I miss my nightly telebabad with yumyum =)
I miss yumyum. But I know he didn't love me, I thought he did. =(
But I'm okay. The last thing i need is to cry over spilled milk. I love him. I still do. I've just learnt to accept that things are the way they are for a reason. It's hard to rationalize every shitty thing that happens in my life, but the fact is... I can't turn back time. I want to, but I can't. If I could, things would be different. Totally different. But as much I want things to change in my life, there are somethings I'd rather keep.
I have regrets. But I'm determined to make the best out of everything that's happened in my life. Turn the negative into positive.
I'm gonna be fine. I'm strong.
documentation shiat
i hate technical writing. where's the fun in statistics and other related crap. I need to get a special class to get the hang of this. It is so frustrating to not be able to write what i want to write.
what the fcuk. I am such a loser. I haven't slept yet. I so wanna sleep already but I have to finish this stupid industry study/analysis?
I hate my brain. It's utterly useless. I'm a no brainer.
:((
goodbye dialup!
yay! broadband at last! finally my parents came to their senses and got us a pldt mydsl. thanks to the 1995 unlimited access package! yipee!!
really need to lose weight... but eating is so much fun and exercise is such hard work. =p
but i seriously need to lose a couple of pounds. if not i need a major wardrobe overhaul since i can hardly get into my old clothes.
alas! no moolah for clothes shopping.
its exercise then.
