blogblogboink

....it's just a book

2005-01-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

maybe i'm just being a brat. it ain't that important. i just thought it'll be nice to buy a good book now that powerbooks is on sale. but alas, i have no moolah. i thought i'd ask mom for a loan, 500 bucks would do. but she wouldn't lend me some cash. i'd pay her right back when the money from tatay comes.

maybe i am just being a brat. a materialistic brat. i was really just looking forward to buying a book. sometimes i wish we were filthy rich. but hey, it's just a book. a lot of people don't even have food to eat, and i'm sulking because i cant buy a book.

i dont want to be upset, but i am. it's not about the book. i can borrow books from the library or from friends. it's not about the book. i just feel deprived. i just wish my mother understands. but she doesn't.

or maybe i don't. maybe i am just a stupid brat after all.

a new term

2005-01-13T13:57:00.000+08:00

another term. another start. hopefully, this term will be better than the last. i mean nothing could possibly top the last one. it was horrible.

i won't have any expectations. i do have a goal. i need to ace everything this term. i've been slacking off the last few terms. i wont get straight A's but i do need to look that way.

i need to get of my butt and start working hard.

2046

2005-01-11T21:13:00.000+08:00

i watched it last weekend. i sorta got lost towards the end of the film. it didn't help that Chow(Tony Leung) and Bai(Zhang Ziyi) did not end up together. I was hoping they would. Again, me and my romantic frustrations. =p

I wish I can offer a more comprehensive review for the film, but as i've said I kinda lost grasp at the end. I wonder if watching In The Mood For Love will help me understand. I am currently downloading it via BitTorrent. BitTorrent rocks! :D

wishes do come true =)

2005-01-10T22:47:00.000+08:00

i never did get to finish my christmas wish list. (what's new )
if i did, these 2 would have been in it.
1) A new monitor. (Didn't expect an LCD, but hey who's complaining?)
2) America. The Book. (Hilarious. )

Thanks Santa. (a.k.a. Mom and Dad)

reality bites

2005-01-10T21:42:00.000+08:00

i've been meaning to watch this since the start of the Christmas break. A post i read while bloghopping one day made me want to watch the movie again. I can't remember the last time i watched it. The ever reliable BitTorrent failed me this time. (downloading Casablanca at the moment) So, I thought I'd check the local video stores for a vcd copy when i get the chance. I really doubt there'd be pirated dvd's of a 10 year old movie. ( I want circle of friends too. =) ) I know. I'm such a sucker for romantic films, even if they're real cheezy! =p

And so, coming back from school after enrolling(ugh), i was shocked(and absolutely pleased, more like ecstatic) when i found Reality Bites showing in Star Movies. OMG! How cool is that? A great end to a lousy day (enrolling and all). =) Ethan Hawke. Sigh.

Dont even get me started on Ethan Hawke. Flashes from Before Sunset. That movie totally freaking rock. Really. Don't get me started.

p.s. I didn't know U2's All I Want Is You is in RB's OST. Fcuk. Isn't that song the coolest.

a resolution =)

2005-01-07T15:32:00.000+08:00

i've always wanted to be able to write intellectual sounding posts.

this year, i'll try to do just that! write something sensible for a change. enough with my senseless banter about my stupid life.

i'll probably get an account at blogthing just to familiarize myself with wordpress. it seems fun.

so wish me luck on this venture of mine to get intellectual in 2005.

goodluck with me!

hello 2005!

2005-01-01T13:02:00.000+08:00

wow! 2004 is over. it has been quite a year.

a year that did not leave without a big bang! sadly, it will be distinctly remembered for the many tragedies that happened.

it is a sad new year and was a sad Christmas for many. The war in Iraq, the storms that hit the Philippines that left many of our countrymen homeless, and the killer quake and tsunamis that killed hundreds of thousands of people in our neighboring countries here in Asia.

One can't help but think. Why now? Why us?

Maybe it's a reminder. A reminder that we all just owe our lives, and that we could all lose it without warning. A reminder to love. A reminder to live.

We still celebrated New Year just like all New Years. Life has to go on. I offer a prayer to those who have lost everything. May the Lord give them strength to pick up the pieces and move on.

New Year. 2005. A new beginning for all of us.

the crappy term has finally ended.

2004-12-23T19:29:00.000+08:00

dsl is back(finally)!!!

after 4 days without broadband access, my life is complete again. yeah yeah, i know. i'm mababaw like that. =p

i'm thinking of getting a domain when i get around to making my own website. =)

the term is finally over, but of course, it wouldn't/couldn't end without a big bang. my final exams were a mess. a total freaking mess! i try not to think of it, but then again when the school sends my final grades, i still have to face the consequences of my utter disregard for studying. =((

but hey, i want to enjoy Christmas and I will! I'll worry about stupid grades later. for now, i'm just happy the term has finally ended. oh, the joy of vacation! =D

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

finals

2004-12-17T03:12:00.000+08:00

two more exams and this crappy term is over!

every term seems to be getting worse. i swear i am so fucking sick of my school.

2 more days, and this calvary is over. i want to cry it all out. it's just too frustrating! i feel hopeless. i really do.

:(

midterms

2004-12-15T14:07:00.000+08:00

my dad showed me a copy of my midterm grades the school sent thru mail today. ugh!

of course, i know what my midterm grades are. and if they were any good, he wouldn't have waited for the mail to know them. but they sucked. a 2 and a 2.75!

2 for physics is not too bad ( i hate physics!) . but a 2.75 for an exam i thought i did pretty well.

Christmas is fast approaching. and if my parents haven't done their shopping yet, i might have lost my 7610 already.

grrr....

i hate it when the school sends midterm grades. i never do well on midterms!

pakshet!

conceit

2004-12-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

people who go the extra mile to prove that no one's better than them is irritating. or maybe i'm just a sore loser. i hate failing. i hate losing.

conceit. it's reprehensible!!! ugh.

wtf?

2004-12-03T18:22:00.000+08:00

Instant Blog Post Generator

Have you ever heard of anything more preposterous? I mean think about it. Do bloggers actually use this thing? I mean, why would anyone want to post a randomly generated blog which have nothing to do with their lives? Gawd!

blank

2004-11-18T02:36:00.000+08:00

i haven't blogged for ages. my mind's all blank right now. it has been for a couple of days. a long weekend does not do any good to my brains (or what's left of it)

my foot itches. does that mean i'm going to go galavanting. i sure hope so, because i'm sick of my freaking daily routine.

i need a social life. goodluck to me. pun intended.

vector sum

2004-11-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

yes, i have my physics midterm exam tomorrow. i know next to nothing and yet i am not in the verge of tears. i know i'll mess up this exam. there maybe a very slim chance of passing it... but aceing it?? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!?!

I know that no matter how hard i study, my really nice physics professor (no pun intended), will find a way to make me feel really stupid after the exam.

as much as i want to be apathetic about my grades, i can't help but worry. i need to stay on the dean's list and i don't want a minor subject like physics messing up my gpa.

besides, i get my grades before Christmas. I don't want it ruining my chances of getting that new phone i so badly want!

Oh, more on that new phone on my Christmas wish list (part 2). Coming soon!

breakaway

2004-11-06T17:35:00.000+08:00

most days, i just want to breakaway from everything...
i am so freaking tired of failing.

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jetplane
Far away
And break away

....Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

of poems and milkshakes

2004-11-06T02:45:00.000+08:00

I am not a fan of poetry.

But since I love Before Sunrise (and Before Sunset) so much, I just have to share this poem from the movie.

daydream delusion
limousine eyelash
oh, baby with your pretty face
drop a tear in my wineglass
look at those big eyes
see what you mean to me
sweet cakes and milkshakes
i'm delusion angel
i'm fantasy parade
i want you to know what i think
don't want you to guess anymore
you have no idea where i came from
we have no idea where we're going
launched in life
like branches in the river
flowing downstream
caught in the current
i'll carry you, you'll carry me
that's how it could be
don't you know me
don't you know me by now

For the full transcript of Before Sunrise go here. Be forewarned though, that the script is not in a downloadable format, but rather, a series of html pages.

goodbye =) =p

2004-11-05T17:38:00.000+08:00

i finally figured out how to insert smileys! yay!

my Christmas wish list (part one)

2004-11-05T14:03:00.000+08:00

As much as i want to blog about the recently concluded US Presidential election, I would have to defer ranting since it is all but too frustrating to write about right now. and yes, I am for Kerry.

Since Christmas is fast approaching, I have been thinking of things I want from Santa (a.k.a. Dad)

This is a wish list. Meaning, if i actually gave this list to Santa... he'd most probably say, "You WISH!"

1) I saw the cutest pair of sneakers in Adidas Megamall last Tuesday.

This also comes in pink (leather, instead of suede), which is equally cute.

And I also saw this adorable Originals Tuscany Leather while browsing the ADIDAS site. Cute!!!

Wow! If only these do not cost 4 grand ($70). 4,000 pesos for a pair of sneakers... gawd!

Man, if only we were filthy rich!

To be continued......

all good things must come to an end =(

2004-11-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

for as long as i can remember, nov. 2 has always been a holiday. why then are we back to school tomorrow! :((

oh well, another weekend ( a long one at that) has come to an end. indeed, time flies so fast when you're having fun! i haven't done any studying at all.

indeed, bad habits die hard. =p

the grudge

2004-11-01T17:30:00.000+08:00

for lack of better things to do or more specifically, the lack of motivation to do the things i'm supposed to do (i.e., study for a physics exam which i badly need to ace), ahyan and i decided to watch a local television's rerun of the original japanese version of The Grudge.

This movie makes studying Newton's Laws so much more interesting. Why, oh why did i subject myself to such crappy horror flick. I am not a fan of horror films. Things popping out of nowhere scares the hell out of me. I'm a wimp, I admit. But this movie claiming to be a blockbuster horror film is really sad. I haven't watched any of the other asian horror movies, and after this one, i sure am not keen on watching another "scary" asian movie anytime soon. Feng Shui, anyone? =p

Why then are they doing a hollywood version? Gawd, and i heard it's raking in millions in the US Box Office! This is one box office hit i wouldn't want to watch.

Huller? If the original movie sucked big time, what the fcuk to do you expect of the remake? and with the same director?

Why, oh why???

a long weekend

2004-10-30T17:02:00.000+08:00

yay! a long weekend ahead! but why the heck are we back to school on november 2nd. talk about spoilsports! i wonder if people will actually show up in school on tuesday. as much as i want to stay at home and bum around on the said day, i really have to show up for one class i can't miss. not because i enjoy the subject, but because he gives a freaking quiz every meeting. gawd! such hard work is not good for me! =p

much of my weekend will go to studying physics. so much for apathy! i really need to work my ass of if i want a decent final grade. i have been barely passing my exams. i wish i didn't care about grades, but i do. well, i won't care so much if my parents don't expect so much of me. and of course, Christmas is coming. Presents will be extra nicer if grades are high!! =D just the motivation i needed.

i really wish i could post more interesting and intelligent entries. but of course, i'm neither of the two, so what do you expect right? =p

happy halloween!

before sunset

2004-10-29T15:04:00.000+08:00

my friends dragged me to watch this movie. i actually had no intention whatsoever to watch it, but i ended up falling in love with it in the end. it was so beautiful. i'm actually at lost for words to tell you how beautiful it is.

i need to watch before sunrise asap! they say it's as beautiful as its sequel. and if you haven't watched before sunset... you are missing out. it is so fcuking beautiful. don't expect great cinematography (of course Paris is beautiful on its own), but expect great dialogue. In fact, expect the film to be all intelligent talk. Oh gawd, i can't stop raving about it.

It is so fcuking beautiful!!!!

pathetic apathetic

2004-10-29T04:02:00.000+08:00

maybe it's the frustration from all the lousy teaching i get from a supposedly world class school.

as i have ranted before, i am done with self studying.

there are some good teachers this term but all for GE subjects. Heck, i need able professors for my programming subjects!

i can't deal with it anymore, and my only recourse is to be apathetic.

to hell with grades. they're but a lousy measure of how well you bullshit you're way through stupid exams.

i have an exam in 3 hours, i haven't even studied yet. apathy.

Sex and the City Marathon

2004-10-27T18:07:00.000+08:00

Oh my God! 10 straight episodes of Sex and the City(SATC) Season 6! 5 hours of the Manhattan Girls! I actually cried half of the time, mostly because I could only wish for a friendship like theirs.

I still can't believe I spent the last 5 hours watching SATC (when I should be studying for an exam on thursday)! Oh what the hell, it was worth it!

Anyone with a friendship/s close to that of the SATC girls should consider themselves blessed.

It's hard to find real friends.

inferiority complex

2004-10-22T16:20:00.000+08:00

i hang out with a lot of really intelligent and witty people. This brings me to the realization that i am such a loser.

Yes, I ace my exams, but when I compare my personality and my capabilities with these guys, I end up feeling sorry for myself.

I am not stupid. I am not dumb. But when I'm in school and I'm surrounded with friends who are oozing with confidence and so sure of themselves, I feel like wimp.

I don't want to feel sorry for myself. But I am. I'm sorry that I'm not as smart and as witty as these people.

I'm sorry I don't have any real friends in school.

I'm sorry that I'm so overrated that people expect me to do good in everything. But the truth is I suck. I so totally suck.

I hate school and I hate the way it makes me feel like I'm not going to succeed in life. I hate that I have to compare myself with all these people who could code java in their sleep or finish a physics quiz an hour ahead of me.

I don't want to pretend to be cool coz I'm not. I'm a dull, boring person who can spend the whole day staring at the ceiling.

I want to matter. I want to be special. I hate feeling ordinary.

Sometimes I wish I were a genius.

I have a report tommorow. It's the anxiety I feel when I have to face the class. I'm scared. I'm just scared.

a nice surprise

2004-10-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

It's nice having someone to talk to. I had a surprising call tonight. It was a nice surprise. He needed someone to talk to, I was there to listen. To laugh at his stupid jokes, and tell him that everything's gonna be okay when he started to worry about life.

He's a great guy and someday he'll find someone he deserves and who deserves him. I hope she treats him well. =)

I suddenly miss being in love. I miss my nightly telebabad with yumyum =)

I miss yumyum. But I know he didn't love me, I thought he did. =(

But I'm okay. The last thing i need is to cry over spilled milk. I love him. I still do. I've just learnt to accept that things are the way they are for a reason. It's hard to rationalize every shitty thing that happens in my life, but the fact is... I can't turn back time. I want to, but I can't. If I could, things would be different. Totally different. But as much I want things to change in my life, there are somethings I'd rather keep.

I have regrets. But I'm determined to make the best out of everything that's happened in my life. Turn the negative into positive.

I'm gonna be fine. I'm strong.

documentation shiat

2004-10-19T20:35:00.000+08:00

i hate technical writing. where's the fun in statistics and other related crap. I need to get a special class to get the hang of this. It is so frustrating to not be able to write what i want to write.

what the fcuk. I am such a loser. I haven't slept yet. I so wanna sleep already but I have to finish this stupid industry study/analysis?

I hate my brain. It's utterly useless. I'm a no brainer.

:((

goodbye dialup!

2004-10-06T12:06:00.000+08:00

yay! broadband at last! finally my parents came to their senses and got us a pldt mydsl. thanks to the 1995 unlimited access package! yipee!!

really need to lose weight... but eating is so much fun and exercise is such hard work. =p

but i seriously need to lose a couple of pounds. if not i need a major wardrobe overhaul since i can hardly get into my old clothes.

alas! no moolah for clothes shopping.

its exercise then.

new term resolution =)

2004-09-28T15:10:00.000+08:00

this term is going to be different. that i promise. i am going to unleash my full potential! bwahaha!

it has been a bumpy start, though. with a physics quiz that was real shitty! tell me... when the fuck did a physics quiz have an essay part? i have this bad feeling that i am going to have to study my ass off to ace this subject. if that quiz was any indication of things to come... i am so dead. i hate unpredictable exams!!!

i don't hate physics (and/or math), but i'm not very good at it. I'd really have to work hard to get a decent final grade.

who said achieving excellence was easy, right?

aargh!!!!!!!!

2004-09-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

Reading: Count of Monte Cristo
Listening to: Crazy - Aerosmith
Current Fave Song: Accidentally In Love

I enrolled for 18 units today. Classes started today. hahaha! what a model student i am.

the biggest surprise were my last term's grades. i wasn't really expecting any 1.00 this term, well except for one subject. i wasn't really keen on finding out what my grades were, but i ended up getting my course cards all the same. Imagine my surprise when i got a course card with a 1.0 written on it when i was expecting a near-to-failing grade.

God loves me. i know i didn't deserve that grade. but i'll take it anyways. Yay! another term in the first honors.

i am not smart. i am merely a product of good karma =)

i never boast of my achievements because i believe i'm overrated. hahaha!!!

i wait in silence and make the biggest bang in the end! =)

i am in like with the person i am annoyed with most.

i am cute (batting eyelashes)

Accidentally In Love

2004-09-17T14:45:00.000+08:00

Can one actually be in love by accident? accident meaning waking up one morning and realizing that we're in love or do we unconsciously build up affectionate feelings and then later on come to the realization that we are actually in love. but when do we know that we are actually in love or just in like or plainly in lust?

rationalizing love is a major headache.

so I said I'm a snowball running
running down into the spring that's coming
all this love
melting under blue skies
belting out sunlight
shimmering love

..... Accidentally in Love by the Counting Crows

The Amazing Race

2004-09-16T18:17:00.000+08:00

i just watched the amazing race episode shot in manila. it was pretty amusing, especially the detour challenge where they had to either plow a field or deal with fowl (1000 ducks to be exact). Everyone chose to plow the field.

My favorite team is brandon and nicole, the God-fearing models... very rare nowadays. although a lot of people say they secretly worship the devil :)) talk about far-fetched.

Colin and Christie, they're this season's villains. I don't hate them, but i don't like them either. I think Christie's a biatch and Colin's an asshole. Chip and KIm gave them the yield, and all i can say is ... good for them.

Next week's the season finale. The Palawan episode should be fun to watch. :)

Isn't it cool that they shot the last 2 episodes before the finale in the Philippines. It a ray of sunshine after all the gloomy weather (figuratively and literally speaking) we've been having.

I hope either Chip and Kim or Brandon and Nicole wins....

a well deserved break!

2004-09-11T13:35:00.000+08:00

one week of rest. short but i'll take any day away from my stupid school.

school sucks!

2004-09-08T13:15:00.000+08:00

another term has come to an end. and although the past terms were horrible, this one was exceptionally fcuked up.

i realized that I don't want to take shit from my shitty school anymore. And although, i am left with no choice but to stick it out for two more years, i have had it with trying to please everyone, including its teachers who have done everything but teach (save of course for some extremely nice and able professors)!

Home Study. Yes, that's the story of my entire college life. Frankly, I am so fcuking sick of it!

of java and asp.net

2004-09-07T16:01:00.000+08:00

i enjoy programming. but asp.net is one language i just can't seem to comprehend. now, java is another story. yipee!!! at last, something i actually enjoy learning. yay!!!! =))

will start to blog regularly after the finals. this term is a nightmare. Last night was a first.... a sleepless night as i crammed for the finals. will never do that again. and i mean never! but as a software engineering student, i must accept the fact that sleepless nights will be a part of my college life and my future career! STRESS!!!

i'm trying to hold on to sanity as i study for an asp.net & vbscript final exam later this afternoon.

as i said, i really should be studying right now.

que horror!!!

2004-08-27T04:02:00.000+08:00

computers are supposed to make our lives easier right? But why does it seem like the opposite? I spent precious hours last night trying to make my stupid new sound card to work. After hours of installing, uninstalling and reinstalling the driver … finally the familiar sound of the irritating windows chime!

Why am I studying computer science again????

panic mode stage 1

2004-08-25T12:27:00.000+08:00

final exams are just two weeks away. its getting difficult to sleep soundly at nights from too much worrying. no matter how much i convince myself to stay cool, i still end up worrying myself sick! i just wish everything turns out ok this term. nothing below 1.75 i hope! fingers crossed! XX

2004-08-23T13:31:00.000+08:00

i'm supposed to be studying for a major exam on tuesday, but here i am watching maid in manhattan. there's something about cheezy movies that makes me smile despite the stress java programs and uml exams bring.....

isn't it ironic

2004-08-21T17:25:00.000+08:00

funny how you can be my "lover" and a total stranger at the same time

screw the deadline

2004-08-20T18:26:00.000+08:00

it's 3 am and i am yet to finish 3 java programs. these were due 2 days ago, but as usual i'm in my screw-the-deadline mode. If i am seriously considering a career in programming, i really have to lose this leave-it-till-the-last-minute habit. if only things aren't easier said than done .....

my study habit that is cramming

2004-08-20T03:14:00.000+08:00

i don't know what it is with cramming hours before an exam that seem to make my brain work better with remembering details i wouldn't usually remember.

but don't get me wrong, i totally hate cramming. but studying days before an exam gets me nowhere. my mind wanders off too much! where my thoughts go... i just don't know!

paranoia sets in ...

2004-08-17T13:14:00.000+08:00

two years into a software engineering course, i begin to wonder if i belong in the computer world. i am no genius in programming unlike my geeky classmates. what assurance do i have that i will land a career in software engineering? i don't want to end up in a call center just like everyone else. not that being in a call center is a such a bad thing. i just don't want my countless sleepless nights over a program that wouldn't compile go to waste...

one frustrated shopper

2004-08-02T14:40:00.000+08:00

ever since i went back to college my outfits have been drastically limited to tshirts, jeans and worn-out sneakers(save for my 2-month old nikes)!

it is not often that i find myself with cash on hand, and when i do have money to spend, i can't seem to find anything worth buying... and so, i end up spending on food. (so much for trying to lose weight!!)

shopping for clothes has indeed become a frustrating activity for me. i often wish we had college uniforms. NAH! uniforms are dull and boring. and so i am yet to buy me some cool shirts!!! tomorrow's another day and i have a bad feeling that it'll be yet another futile attempt....

finally!

2004-08-02T14:30:00.000+08:00

finally a blog!!! i will have to come up with a homepage. it's pathetic that after 2 years in a software engineering course, i am yet to create one. i promise to have one by the end of the year ( by the way things are going, it's a pretty safe ultimatum)